Great Expectations...

As women we have clearly defined roles and expectations.  We may be a wife, a daughter or mother.  In addition, some of us have welcomed other roles into our lives: student, business owner, Sunday school teacher, youth leader, pastor’s wife, etc… With our expanding lives, it is very easy for us to lose sight of who we are in light of the expectations placed upon us through our various roles. For example, instead of hearing “This is Stefanie Brown”, I found myself hearing “This is Dan Brown’s wife”.  Now please don’t get me wrong, I love being Dan’s wife (ya’ll know I waited long enough to claim that title); however I am still “Stefanie Brown” the person.  What we need to find is balance.  I want to suggest some ideas to help maintain balance in your life.

1.  Identify your top three priority roles

Right now, for my life, my priority is threefold…

a)  Wife – With Dan traveling as much as he does during this time of raising support, I must make sure that our home under control, in order and functioning smoothly.  Now, this may not have high importance in your life and that is OK, but for my husband and family, this has high importance.  I must make sure when he comes home off the road he comes home to a peaceful environment.  He must re-charge and hit it again.

b)  Mother – Like many of my peer group, I take being a mother very seriously.  God blessed us with Alex and when we dedicated Him to the Lord we told Him we would to whatever was necessary to raise him in the love and reverence of the Lord and point him daily to the cross. Of course, this is in addition to feeding him, clothing him, making sure he has a bath, doing homework, practicing AWANA and school Bible Verses, doing laundry, playing games, having conversation, etc…

c)  Employer/Worker – I have always worked, sometimes under protest, but I have worked. I have been blessed to work from home since before Alex was born. This gave me the opportunity to be at home, have flexibility and still contribute financially. This role has changed ranking in the last few years.  It used to be #2 but was bumped when Alex came along.  Why?  Because he become more of a priority for me than working. I still needed to work, but my role as mother took precedence over it.

Although your priorities may be a little different than mine, I still encourage you to identify your top three and work from there.  You will be amazed how things fall into place once you begin writing things down and really prioritizing them.

2.  Learn to streamline your life

The sign of a good wife, mother, etc… is not how much they do but how much of that they do well. 

 

One of the most difficult decisions I recently had to make was stepping away from our praise team at church.  For those of you who know me, I love music, especially ministering through music.  I began to realize that my life was in a different place than it was a year ago, causing me to truly re-evaluate what my commitments were and should now be.  Because Alex and I try to travel as much as we can with Dan I found myself missing a lot of Sundays.  When I was gone, I would find someone to fill in for me on praise team.  Although everyone was always willing and understanding, I had to come to the realization that, for this moment in time, I had to step away.  Difficult – a resounding yes!  Necessary – a resounding yes. 

 

Where can you streamline your life?  I encourage you to sit down and write out all the commitments and responsibilities you currently have.  What can you eliminate?  You may only begin with one thing, but that is a start.  We are looking for balance and emotional health.  You do not have to be on every school committee to be a great mom!  You don’t have to be involved in every church ministry to be a good follower!

 

3.  Learn to take time for yourself

I take a “Maintenance Day” every so often to pause and re-charge my battery.  Since I am a SPA addict, the time I take for myself typically revolves around a mani/pedi.  I find this time extremely relaxing and it gives me an hour or so to relax.  I turn my phone down or off and kick back.  This may not be an appealing idea for you and that’s OK.  Find what works for you.  You may enjoy taking a book on the back porch and reading, uninterrupted, for an hour – do it.  You may enjoy taking a long walk all by yourself – then do it.  This is an important concept for us to grab onto – we need some time re-charge, rest, and relax – to help us to keep pressing forward.

4.  Organize or agonize

 

I have to admit this is not one of my strong suits, but it works when worked.  If we don’t have some type of foresight, preparation and organization, we will be like a dog chasing its tail.  I encourage you to choose a time, and take it, to either prepare for the next day or the next week.  If deciding on what to have for dinner is an issue, make a meal schedule.  If your child has trouble choosing what they are going to wear for school, have them pick out outfits for the entire week or at least the night before so not to have an issue in the morning.  If you know you have a paper due in 2 months, do a little along the way so not to find yourself up against the wall with a paper due in a few days.  For me, the one of the most pressure filled times is in the morning as we prepare to go to school.  So to help alleviate some of that pressure, I prepare Alex’s lunch and snack the night before (all but the PB&J) and pack them.  I have our devotion out and ready for the morning (we do these during breakfast).  I also have his spelling words and Bible verse out and ready to work on over breakfast.  I make sure clothes are ready to go and are laid out so as soon as his feet hit the floor he can get dressed.  This little bit of foresight/organization has help our mornings run so much more smoothly and starts our day off great!

 

When we don’t prepare and plan well, we will begin to agonize and it will spill over into every aspect of our lives.

Great Expectations…

Great Purpose…

Great God!

Philippians 4:13 ~

v  Christ gives me the strength to face anything. (CEV)

v  For all things I have strength, in Christ's strengthening me; (YLT)

v  I can do all things through him who strengthens me. (ESV)

 

In Him,

Stefanie

Comments

[Tammy Akins]

Hi Stefanie! I am enjoying your blog so much! One thing that I have found that has helped me in my transition to being a stay-at-home mom is scheduling. Organization is not my strong point and I am a procrastinator....not a good combo, so for me having certain days that I do certain household chores is key. For example, Mon and Tues are laundry days, Wed is grocery shopping and errand running, and Thurs is cleaning day (some cleaning has to be done daily but the deep cleaning is done on Thurs). Of course, there are weeks when things have to be done differently but this is the main schedule that I operate on. Having a menu for supper helps with cooking. I take about 15 minutes a week and plan the menu for the week and generate a shopping list from my menu. I discovered if I don't do this we end up eating out because I am not good at planning a meal at the last minute so it becomes easier to just eat out.
These are just a few things that keep our house running smoothly. Again, thank you for taking the time to write your blog! I look forward to it daily! :)

[Juli Haverlock]

Thanks for your words of wisdom. I'm going to think these things over. I want God to use me and I want to give my energy to the things that bring Him glory. Thank you Thank You.

[Aimee Hall]

i just want you to know as your niece, I am blessed beyond words by having you in my life. I am also printing these out because I am learning from you more than you know.